


The Snake in the Garden

by iamfitzwilliamdarcy



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: a snek - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2019-01-18 12:52:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12388473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamfitzwilliamdarcy/pseuds/iamfitzwilliamdarcy
Summary: Damian catches Alfred about to commit an unspeakable act. In preventing him, Damian also manages to make (catch) a new friend





	The Snake in the Garden

**Author's Note:**

  * For [catie_writes_things](https://archiveofourown.org/users/catie_writes_things/gifts).



“Pennyworth!” Damian’s voice was clipped and demanding, even more formal than his father’s had been at that age. Alfred turned to him. “Pennyworth, what do you think you’re doing?”

“Gardening, sir,” he said, glancing around pointedly. “I suggest you might stay back. There is a snake slithering, around. I was just about to…take care of him.”

Damian sniffed. “I saw,” he said. “My father has a strict no killing rule.”

“I hardly think,” Alfred said, drawing himself up. “That that applies to nuisances such as this reptile.” He did not mention that he had been killing snakes in this garden since before Master Bruce had even graced this earth.

“I should think, at least, that his feelings about guns would alter your behavior,” Damian said. Added, “And a garden snake is hardly a nuisance.”

Alfred sighed. He could kill a snake with a hoe as well as with a gun, but it seemed Master Damian, despite his indirectness, would have no part of that. And it Alfred hadn’t gotten enough sight on the snake to see if it were indeed a harmless one. 

“What would you have me you do with the beast, then, young sir?” he asked. “Wait until it bites you and you succumb to its venom?”

Damian drew himself up, same as Alfred had done only moments before, becoming barely taller than his full 4’11”. “Save it,” he demanded. “Determine if it’s harmless. I shall keep it, regardless. Feed it. Whatever it needs.”

Alfred turned, eyed the snake. He studied it for a moment, and finally, concluded, “Likely not venomous, young sir. I suppose it wouldn’t be beyond the realm of possibility for you to keep it.”

“Of course,” Damian said. He moved closer, peeking past Alfred at the black coil. “Surely just a garter snake.”

“Indeed, sir,” Alfred conceded.

“I should think I could provide it sufficient care.”

“Would you not prefer,” Alfred ventured, “To have it continue to reside in the garden? It will need to be fed small rodents, if not.”

Domain’s face neutralized. Turned blank in a way that Alfred knew meant he was struggling. The child would keep a rat or mouse for a pet as certainly as he was fighting to keep this snake. 

“You will kill it if it stays out here,” Damian said finally. 

“Not now that I know,” Alfred disagreed. “Always better safe than sorry, Master Damian, but I would not kill a creature I knew to be non-threatening.”

After a long moment, Damian huffed. “I’d rather he be mine,” he said. “For good. That way no imbecile could ever harm him. Despite the so-called risk.” 

“Very well, young sir,” Alfred said. “I suppose your father wouldn’t mind.” The fool shouldn’t, at least, Alfred thought, not after he’d let the child bring in a godforsaken meat cow, of all things, into their home. They’d lost all control, though Alfred wasn’t quite sure Damian fully realized that yet. 

At any rate, Alfred supposed, it was nice to see the young heir concerned with beings other than himself. It’d been a struggle, mostly on Master Richard’s part, to ensure Damian had grown into a person far more empathetic than the impetuous assassin that had come to them. If this was the resultant, Alfred would take it.

“He wouldn’t,” Damian agreed, folding his arms across the chest and looking at the black and yellow garter snake that still lay coiled in the dirt Alfred had been tending to. “We will likely need to visit the pet store. Ensure we have proper facilities for Apep to live.”

“Apep?” Alfred aksed.

“Tt,” Damian said. “The Egyptian god of chaos. Represented by a snake. Pennyworth, you know very little.” 

“Just so, sir,” Alfred said daintily. “Yet I manage to learn new things each day.” 

Damain tutted again. He moved closer to the snake. It coiled and hissed, just a little, at him.

“We have an old aquarium,” Alfred said. He did not tell Damian of Master Bruce’s Komodo Dragons, long since dead. “It should be sufficient while we procure proper resources for the snake—for Apep’s care.”

Damian moved closer, still to the snake. Alfred restrained himself from placing a hand on his shoulder and pulling him back. 

“Excellent,” Damian said. “Go find the aquarium. Clean it out. I will wait here. Apep will get used to me.”

Alfred did as asked. He even found enough mulch and wood chippings to provide for the snake prior to arriving at the pet store and a water bowl to place inside. He returned to Master Damian, facilities in arm, and the way Damian lit up made it worth the troubles.

Even when he held such lofty attitudes. He ordered Alfred to place the aquarium on the ground, and proceeded to catch the garter snake, quicker than Alfred would have expected, had he not known the extent of Damian’s training, still hissing, and place him in the aquarium. 

“Apep will stay in my room,” Damian ordered, as they walked side-by-side, back to the Mansion Alfred carrying Apep in his aquarium. “And we shall go to the pet store to secure his supplies as soon as feasible.”

“Of course,” Alfred agreed, easily. He desired nothing more than to return to his gardening. Master Bruce should awaken at any moment, now, long past two o’clock in the afternoon, and Alfred would shame him into going. Father-son bonding, and the like.

When Alfred set the aquarium, snake and all, down in Master Damian’s room, though, the child looked at him with as much of a smile as Alfred had ever seen. And he said, with some difficulty, “Your service is much appreciated, Pennyworth.”

“Certainly,” Alfred said, cheerfully.

“Father will have to help me with the rest,” Damian added loftily, almost a warning for Alfred not to interfere. 

Amused, Alfred assured, “I shall send him your way as soon as he wakes.”

Damian nodded seriously, attention focused on the snake. “That would be best, Pennyworth. Your services are no longer needed here.”

“Of course, young sir,” Alfred said. “I shall be in the garden ‘til your father wakes.”

There wasn’t much time left until Bruce Wayne began to stir, and Alfred meant to make the most of it. He excused himself dutifully from Damian’s room, and went, smiling back to the garden. He never thought a snake, of all the obnoxious beings in the animal kingdom, would spark in his young Master such a sympathetic response.

It just goes to show, he told himself, kneeling in dirt and snipping at overgrown leaves, not to judge one creature based on appearances.

Or based on background and rumors and superstitions.

And maybe that was the whole point, after all.


End file.
